(Below is an unedited letter submitted to us by a reader. TLS welcomes your letters at thelakewoodscoop@gmail.com . The views are solely those of the writer and does not necessarily reflect the views of TLS).Dear Editor,
I'm addressing this letter to benefit the mature women of our community.
I have once again returned home after taking care of errands, and I am once again bothered by something I see each time. Why are Lakewood women shopping in the non-Jewish stores wearing snoods? I understand if people are strapped for time and for carpooling or local shopping they rush out in a snood. However, why in each aisle in Target, Walmart etc.. are women attracting unnecessary questioning looks from strangers because of their headgear? These women are dressed nicely with tights, shoes, skirts, sweaters...and some even with make-up! Why was there time for all that and just not that spare minute to put on a Sheitel? Our dress code should be respectful and dignified and I don't see a snood portraying that image. As a side mention, even between Jewish shoppers, some women's snoods are worn in a most unTznisudik manner, posing many problems to men shoppers. Women, please take an extra minute to put on your Sheitel before heading out to shop.
Thank you,
A Sheitel wearer.
124 comments:
IS A SHATEL THE ONLY MODEST HEADGEAR?,IN SOME PLACES ONLY TICHELS ARE WORN. IF YOU HAVE THE TIME TO NOTICE HOW PEOPLE ARE DRESSED,GO AFTER THE TIGHT AND SHORT,
There are people who have shaitels by the shaitel macher and have nothing else to wear. Some people never wear shaitels. As said above, I don't think anyone should be commenting on ANYONE else's mode of dress. It is absolutely none of your business. If you don't like it, don't look.
And as an aside, many hold of the opinion that sheitels are the on the lower end of the head covering options.
a frum women going out of her home is representing the women of our nation.but in addition to that have these women no self respect. The way some of these women look going out of their homes is embarrising. bad enough these women look that way when their husbands return home from a long hard day at work or yeshiva.Is that the meaning of a true Aishes Chayil OY! OY! OY! Do these women own mirrors or is it true that they just dont care?
Y DONT U PEOPLE MIND YOUR OWN BUSSINESS?? IT SEEMS LIKE U HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THEN STARE AT WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To the above posters--
This woman did us a favor and is giving us a friendly reminder. Dont pounce her and try to say that she is wrong. She is a hundred percent right!! We always have to be dan lkaf zchus ppl yet at the same time, we have to remember that ppl are only giving a friendly reminder for our benefit. I work in a non-Jew office and sometimes frum ladies come in with snoods. It does look extremely weird. Everyone should do their best and if their best is to wear a snood, no problem. But in places where woman wear snoods, like Israel and Monticello bc that is their headwear, they aren't shopping in non-Jewish stores or going to Non-Jewish offices. Use your seichel!! Some things just aren't appropriate for goyim to see. I was at a convience store last night and there was a frum young yeshiva man standing there scratching lottery tickets and staring at all the women who came in. As i was getting in to my car to leave, a car with some goyim next to me was cursing the man out and saying "he's a Jew, why is he sitting there scratching lottery tickets and staring at all the women?" We have to remember that the goyim hate us enough. Dont make the anti-semitism even greater... We should go out of our way as to not attract negative attention to ourselves.
whoever wrote the previous comment is most prob. a yeshiva man from (lithuanian descent)... nothing personally but the language! GEVALD GESHRIGEN!!!.
if s/o has a problem about HIS wife, then tell HER to wear a snood!
yes you have a point about the snoods but PLEASE, the language...
wHICH COMMENT HAD BAD LANGUAGE??
i personaly dislike snooods and feel that its like wearing PJs in public
it untznius to were a shaitel.
GET A LIFE !!! AND STOP LOOKING AT OTHER WOMEN R U SO PERFECT ALWAYS THAT YOU HAVE TO COMMENT ABOUT OTHERS?
You fool, the writer was a woman!
I am a woman and I like to look nice, but, I have issues with sheitel wearing. They aren't always tsniudik either. They can be maras ayin by looking like they grow out of one's head or they are too eye catching. I feel wearing a snood is far more refined and tsniusdik. I don't feel anyone has the right to put down a woman for wearing a snood in public. Ladies first check the fit of your clothes. They shouldn't be too tight, too short, too revealing etc. and when wearing a snood or tichel, make sure it covers ALL your hair.
I disagree vehemently with the writer of this article. No one ever looked at me strangely or questioningly for wearing a snood in a non Jewish store, and my husband prefers that I don't wear a sheitel.
Snoods are better than burkas.
maybe her shaitel was from India
how about bandanas?
let's say all the snood-wearers referred to in the letter are indeed b'tznius when they are out and about. perhaps the writer should be dan l'kaf zechus herself: what if it's too hot and thus uncomfortable for a woman to wear a sheitel that day? or maybe her sheitels are being washed, and are therefore out of commission for the next day or two? what if she's got a whopping migraine? i can go on and on.
and btw, you think that goyim are unawares of the fact that we're jewish because we're wearing sheitels?? get real! they know...they know.
Amen to that!!! Women should look presentable ALL THE TIME. No need for the husbands to be looking at other women if their wives look good. 99% of the time snoods and the like are not very attractive so take the extra minute and look proper.
anon 229
is your husband a posek? please dont elaborate on his other preferences.
goyim look worse - it would do them good to cover up
everyone should be presentable all the time.
if youre worried about the goyim - maybe you should get tattoos, multiple well placed piercings, and speak with foul language.
"These women are dressed nicely with tights, shoes, skirts, sweaters...and some even with make-up!"
.... They didn't forget or neglect to put on their sheitels. They probably don't wear them beshita.
authorette,
get a life.
like it or not, we look different, ask any outsider
Anonymous said...
"These women are dressed nicely with tights, shoes, skirts, sweaters...and some even with make-up!"
.... They didn't forget or neglect to put on their sheitels. They probably don't wear them beshita.
sweaters??? in the summer???
long shaitels are not tznius
the problem today is the high school girls that roam around town all day with nothing to do.
what does Rabbi falk say about snoods?
short shaitels will lead to mixed dancing
make-up? thats also not tznius.
THERE IS NO HALACHA THAT LONG SHAITELS ARENT TZNIUS!!! AND, HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS CAN HAVE SOME TIME OFF TO RELAX DURING THE SUMMER--ITS NOT YOUR BUSINESS IF THEY CHOOSE TO ROAM AROUND ALL DAY OR NOT. USE YOUR SEICHEL NEXT TIME B4 POSTING.
tights have to be the right color
what a silly letter from an overly bored lady with too many kids off from school on her hands.
shaitels that reach the waist are definitely not tznius
Anonymous said...
THERE IS NO HALACHA THAT LONG SHAITELS ARENT TZNIUS!!! AND, HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS CAN HAVE SOME TIME OFF TO RELAX DURING THE SUMMER--ITS NOT YOUR BUSINESS IF THEY CHOOSE TO ROAM AROUND ALL DAY OR NOT. USE YOUR SEICHEL NEXT TIME B4 POSTING.
too many caps are not tznius either
if she has a migraine let her take advil, why burden the rest of us with having to put up with a dumpy snood.
wearing robes in Forest Park is not tznius either.
how about slippers? is that tzniusdik?
In Meah Shearim they wear pantoflach.
If the high school girls wore robes as they roamed that would be great compared to the no socks, slit dresses they parade around in.
Rabbi Falk is NOT my Rav.
In Yerushalayim they dont wear shaitels.
I MIND MY OWN BUSSINESS said...
Y DONT U PEOPLE MIND YOUR OWN BUSSINESS?? IT SEEMS LIKE U HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THEN STARE AT WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
definitely a great ticket to a sizzling afterlife.
Wearing robes isn't tznius??? HUH?
Anonymous said...
Wearing robes isn't tznius??? HUH?
hey why not? with the Talibanization theology in full swing pretty soon everything will be looked down upon.
are you sure the writer was a woman? maybe it was a yeshiva guy just looking to stir up a quiet hornets nest.
shaitels are "assur"
Q. I know that wigs made of human hair are bad and not allowed but, is a
synthetic wig made of fake fibers allowed or just a Tichel and why?
A. Every wig today is forbidden because they all look like real hair.
TOO HOT IS "NOT" AN EXCUSE FOR PRITZUS!!! A LADY MUST ALWAYS WEAR A SHAITEL IN PUBLIC!!!
True but if we are going to pick on something lets be sensible at least.
A shtreimel is made from a shvuntz! that doesnt make it not tzniusdik either.
Common sense died many years ago.
Aishes Chayil
Sheker hachein vehevel hayofee.
Tayere vaybelach please hub rachmunis oif yiddishe neshomalach.
Shaitel being washed?
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD OWN A MINIMUM OF FOUR SHAITELS!
1 FOR SHABBOS
2 FOR YOM TOV
3 FOR WHEN HER SHVIGGER COMES
4 FOR WHEN THE OTHER THREE NEED TO BE WASHED.
madness
theres no heter to display a chazon ish shiur of tefach of hair.
Anonymous said...
theres no heter to display a chazon ish shiur of tefach of hair.
neither Rab Chaim Noe's shiur as well.
ISH KOL HAYASHAR BEINAV YAASEH.
what kind of shita is there not to wear a shaitel? your nuts.
why are we women always responsible for the yetzer hora of the men? everytime something happens its our fault.
Reb Yoshe Ber held that it was permissible.
Anonymous said...
IS A SHATEL THE ONLY MODEST HEADGEAR?,
bathing caps are fine too.
GO AFTER THE TIGHT AND SHORT,
Anonymous said...
Reb Yoshe Ber held that it was permissible.
who's Reb Yoshe Ber? Is that the Bais Haleivi?
good grief! could everyone please write letters to themselves before they write letters to the editors .
No hes the Rebbe of Norman Lamm
Anonymous said...
good grief! could everyone please write letters to themselves before they write letters to the editors .
or not at all ever
my husband like ice cream too
Please dear writer, say this to my face next time I'm in wal mart
to anon 4:24---
the same way noone will tell you to your face if you have a run in your tights, so too, she will not come over to you and tell you that you look like a worn out mop in your snood. sorry.
Why can't anyone mind their own business?! If the woman is not causing a chilul Hashem (her kids are STANDING in the shopping cart, Or SCREAMING their heads off...) what is wrong with wearing a snood?
Maybe we get headaches on hot days with the extra weight of a sheitel on. Just mind your own business and worry about what you need to change about your appearance!
What is it your business how other women dress. if one feels comfortable going out in a snood LET HER BE!!!!! this is not something you should be picking on!! GET A LIFE!!
why are all the letters about ladies ,are the men so perfect
Huh? Do you mean we should be embarrassed to look like jews??? Maybe soon well tell men not to go out in the summer with hats and jackets.
I'm self conscious so I do wear sheitels in public - but i must say it does give me headaches sometimes.
My aunt and cousin beshita do not wear sheitels, only hats or snoods.
Why is this letter writer telling their FARFRUMPT opinions on the internet? Isn't that inappropriate as a frum woman? I guess that's ok since no one is seeing her!
wow, people in Lakewood have nothing better to do than worry about what everyone else is doing. If this doesn't make the community sound like a cult I don't know what does. The writter of this letter really need to get a life...
There is no question that a woman looks more put together with a shaitel on, but is that really what a bas yisroel is out to do when she does errands? Some women would not be caught dead without a shaitel on even if she if cleaning the house, but that doesn't mean everyone has to do that. It's called having your own identity. If the woman is covering her hair properly then it's really none of your concern what looks she gets from anyone.
Dear Ms goddie to shoes,
Do you drive while on the cell phone?
Do you wear your seat belt when you drive?
Do you cross the steet at the corner or in the middle of the block?
From your letter you shop in non jewish stores when thier are jewish stores that sell the same items.
Do you hide money from the goverment so that you can collect benifits from the goverment?
Do you fill out you tax returns correctly?
Do you or your husband get paid in cash so that you can cheat the gov?
Do you fill social security taxes for you mexican?
Do you ever buy an item wear it once and return it?
If you answers are yes to any of these questions, LOOK AT YOURSELF BEFORE YOU LOOK AT ANYONE ELSE.
You are the one stealing robbing and making a chilul Hashem.
Go say your tehilim, daven every day, AND DRESS THE WAY YOU WANT TO DRESS AND STOP TELLING OTHERS HOW TO DRESS.
"what kind of shita is there not to wear a shaitel? your nuts."
(First of all it is YOU're nuts, not YOUR)
Second of all, many rabbonim are against sheitels, Chassidish, Sefardish etc. and it is definitely not your business what other frum tsniudik women do as long as they cover their hair properly. You are too into externals.
I had to burn my shetels......
Minimum of FOUR shaitels?!!!
R U NUTS!!??
At $2000-$3000 a pop, I sure hope you pay full tuition since you can afford so much!!!
By the way, are falls considered a shaitel according to the letter writer?
Responding to thw writer of this letter . Firstly,
did it ever occur to that many women dont wear shaitels in the first place . secondly , did it ever occur to you that wearing a shaitel in the summer is extremely uncomfortable and thirdly when was the last time you looked into your own mirror? are you the the perfect, most tzius lady yourself out there? i dont think so because if you were them firstly you shouldnt be in a goyish store in the first place and secondly why are you on the internet which was ossered by the same rabbanim which you hold y your tsius standards . First clean your own house !!
It seems that the letter writer is embarresed of his or her judaism and in their own mind want all ladies to look and dress in a way that's not embarrasing for what they see on how the goyim look at us.
we are supposed to live our lifes al pi halacha if the goyim make fun so be it we have peyes tzitis yarmulka cover our hair etc..
Maran Ovadia Yosef said that women should NOT wear a wig. Many Ashkenzic poskim also say that a wig is a less desirable head covering. The original author of the post is just exhibiting her ignorance of halacha (besides her intolerant, holier than thou attitude.)
Dear Editor,
I was just out running errands on the world wide web and cannot believe the utter thoughtlessness of this letter writer.
Thank you,
A NON Shaitel Wearer
Snoods are ugly'''''''
Women who wear wigs are doing so for the purpose of looking attractive when they go out - which is exactly what they're NOT supposed to be doing. I have never worn a wig and never will. If snoods and scarves bother you, and it bothers you that other women aren't trying to look attractive to strange men, maybe you should ask yourself what your real problem is. Why do you want to look attractive to strange men?
Its not to look attractive to strange men, its to appear dignified - as an ambassador of a Torah way of life.
How do you dress.. like a rumpled up sack of potatoes?
'Gifter Slaughters Lamm for Passover' was the famous headline.
This letter writer is the reason women shouldn't learn Gemara.
I am an ambassador of tsnius with my snood proudly on my head!
I'm an ambassador with a shpitzel on top of my custom waist length shaitel.
Women shouldn't drive cars either while they're yakking on the phone - their swerving causes all the other drivers to turn and look (in horor).
Is your proud snood covering all your hair, or is a tefach showing?
Women
Women
Women
Always making trouble, first you fed us forbidden fruit... Now this...
And when they get pulled over it causes rubbernecking!
What does Rebbetzin David from Bnos Chava hold?
Women shouldn't run playgroups if men will drop off and pick up. Unless they're in burkas.
Tell the high school girls to leave Bagel Nosh - its a busha.
Its 1030 pm do you know where your daughter is?
Rabbi Falk is a big posek - who are you to disagree with him?
Rabbi Falk is a big posek - who are you to disagree with him?
"if you're worried about the goyim - maybe you should get tattoos, multiple well placed piercings, and speak with foul language.
July 6, 2009 2:46 PM"
as a "goyim" may i just say why don't you think for yourself instead of what your rabbi tells you to think, express yourself freely and throw down the bonds of self oppression you have placed on yourself by allowing others to form your views and opinions, it might do you a great deal of good to get a tattoo, it may just give you a greater appreciation for your body and enhance your well being, further in response to part of your statement that struck my nerve most, please step down off your high horse, i work with hasidim and have nothing but respect for them, they are a great bunch of guys, but they speak every bit as foul as the goyim you place beneath you, your children are no better i hear the language they use talking to one another and the things they call hispanics and blacks, i have no doubt many of them hear it straight from their parents mouth
finally, as i think you get the picture on how i feel about freedom of expression it will come as no surprise when i say if she wants to wear a snood let her wear a snood, let her wear a wig, let her show off her own hair, let her wear colorful clothing that lightens the mood of all she comes in contact with, allow her to be herself
thank you in advance should the blogowner allow this post
I pity the husband of this letter writer.
Oich mir a deah zugger.
Reb Yoshe Ber is Genacks Rebbe as well.
Paula Young shaitels are the way to go.
r ahron kotler held that women should only wear shaitels ask anyone in lakewood twenty years ago you would not see a tichel or snood in the street
I think all ladies who want to wear a snood while shopping should get an Ishur.
To Anonymous at 10:47 "The Goyim"
You bring up some very valid points. As you can very well see there is a wildfire of debate going on here regarding the topic(I happen to have not written any of the above comments). I just want to touch on one point you mention. I quote: "i work with hasidim and have nothing but respect for them, they are a great bunch of guys, but they speak every bit as foul as the goyim you place beneath you, your children are no better i hear the language they use talking to one another and the things they call hispanics and blacks, i have no doubt many of them hear it straight from their parents mouth"
In the world the term "Hasidim"is used very loosely. Not every person with a jacket and/or black hat is "Hasidic". Unfortonately it is true that there are many of us that use foul language...do not do everything we stand for... The majority of "Orthodox Jews" however are far from what you describe. They do not despise Hispanics or blacks. They are refined in their actions,talk and in their general way of life. We do not hold ourselves "higher" or "better" than others rather we put ourselves to a "greater standard" meaning we expect more of ourselves. You will always find rotten apples in a bunch. If you go to Amish country you'll find that many of the children part from their family's refined ways...It is not fair to make a blanket statement like you say.
Vus bets du mechila fun a shaigetzel?
Was the snood RED ?????
What a Chilul Hashem we are doing if a goy can comment on here, they see everything we do, NOT ONLY in Walmart, or Target etc...!
women look like they are in pajamas when they wear snoods. it's just inappropriate. nothing to do with tznius. you wouldn't go out in your bath robe, even if it covered your entire body perfectly, because it's inappropriate.
in Forest Park they do.
vus tit an urel af inzere hailege vebsite?
Enough already! I think wearing a robe in public (even in a complex, a neighborhood like Forest Park, or just your own street - to an outsider it is a public street.) is like wearing pajamas in public. A snood is not in that category at all. It is a tsniudik head covering if it covers all your hair. I wear one all the time and I would not wear a robe out of my house. (I usually don't even wear one at the Shabbos table, l'chvod Shabbos either, because it is casual wear, not dressy)
I hold (not my own opinion, but, one that many greater than I hold) that sheitels are potentially ossur. Sheitel wearers - do what you want but, don't try to impose your narrow minded view point on those who do otherwise.
maybe you can be dan lekaf zechus i am someone who doesnt have a sheitel to wear im in the process of buying a new one should i not go out to the store at all??
The initial letter writer must be a sheitel macher! How else can she make a parnasa if we wear snoods everyday?
I think sheitels are very ugly.
It's better to put a snood or a hat or whatever other head-covering is available.
In response to those who can not understand why some of us choose b'shita not to wear shaitlach, here is an article posted on another website (YWN) on Nov. 4, 2008:
Maran HaRav Yosef Sholom Elyashiv Shlita had some very harsh words regarding today’s sheitels, stating the women who wear them today are as if they go outdoor bareheaded.
The statements were made last week during the Rav’s daily Gemara Shabbos shiur the weekly Belze-affiliated BaKehilla reported.
The Rav is quoted as saying there are permitted sheitels and those that are asur, but today’s are strictly forbidden. He called “today’s” sheitels “erva”, stating they are absolutely forbidden.
A participant in the shiur asked Rav Elyashiv how they wore human hair wigs in the time of the Gemara, to which he responded the wigs of those days were different, with the best at that time being comparable perhaps to today’s worst, adding today’s human hair wigs represent “erva” and are absolutely forbidden.
The Rav repeated over and over again the severity of the isur of wearing such sheitels, which the wife and her husband share equal responsibility.
The shiur may be heard on Kol HaLashon, 03-617-1111 by following the menu “Yiddish”, “Gemara”, “Halacha”, “Shiur Maran Elyashiv”, “Meseches Shabbos”, “Shiur 174”. The statements regarding sheitels appear 25 minutes into the shiur.
-----------------------------------
I personally have not worn a shaitel for over ten years, and I have never regretted that decision.
My husband & I felt that the tznius level of shaitlach was quickly deteriorating and we did not want to get pulled down.
I now wear snoods and occassionally hats and I have never felt that I was less well-dressed than those around me wearing shaitlach.
I can't wait to leave this backwards town
"I can't wait to leave this backwards town"
why? because people are for or against sheitels???
why does everyone believe that whatever someone writes is true. I do not believe the "goyim" is a goy. he is some bored nutcase. the letter writer is a man, who enjoys looking at ladies and a sheitel is more appealing than a snood. thats it.
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